What My Divorce Taught Me

relationships Jun 19, 2023

Back in 2015, I was struggling so much in my marriage.  Lackluster might be one of the words for it.  It wasn’t as if there was no connection. I still had a best friend in the relationship, but I wanted so much more than that.  Over 20 years of raising three kids, being in two full-time careers, and building a business together, it all had a deadening impact.  It really isn’t an easy task to maintain passion, intimacy, and connection with the standard modern model of life we have. And there was so much I didn’t know about relationships that I still had to learn. Things like:

  • How to understand the deeper truth of sexual energy exchange and how to cultivate my own

  • How to effectively have clearing conversations when things get muddled

  • Recognizing how relationships mirror my own material and what needs healing

  • Taking care of my own wounding so it doesn’t drive decisions 

I spent a long time evaluating what to do about it.  We tried a lot of unconventional things and eventually went through the process of divorcing.  But what I did learn by the time I got to that point, was that I wanted to do it as lovingly as I could.  It took some time to gain buy-in from my former husband, but when he caught the vision of what I was asking for, he began to believe it was possible too. 

Then began the journey for our whole family to uncover what that looked like.  It was a thousand little decisions and no - it did not take away the grief of letting go of the unfulfilled dreams and expectations built up over 20 years. But what it did do, was create a new way of relating in our family as we navigated a huge change that allowed us to be reborn so it worked better for everyone – and no one was irreparably harmed in the process. :-)
 
What I’ve found over the years is that the process of transforming anything painful in life -- lies in the same fundamental element of connecting with love at a deeper level than we normally do. 

What we most often need is the space and time to do that and listen, really listen to what our hearts are saying to us.  To hear the answer to:

  • What would love mean in this situation? 

  • What is calling for attention that has been left in the dark? 

  • What is the next step that will take me to where I want to go?

If this resonates, and you could use some space for yourself - I invite you to come to the Invitation to Love Retreat on July 20-23.  It is designed specifically to reconnect you to your heart and to love -- and give you the space to access what your soul has been saying to you.  And if you aren't sure exactly what that means, you’ll have the chance to discover and practice relating to yourself in new ways which can not only change your relationship with yourself but with others – for the better.
 
It is my honest wish to transmit the teachings of love I received throughout my divorce to anyone else suffering through a life change. It is no easy task, but it can be done with support and love. So if that connects with you, join us today. The retreat has a lot of real magic built into it and space to access a different experience of life, deeply connected to love – if you’re into that.

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